Living in the moment

Dominic 1 year ago

Today is Christmas Day, 2009.  Dominic and I spent it in the UCSF Hospital in San Francisco.  It is not what either of us had planned, but it seems that at this moment, this is where we are.

It’s been a very rough week for both of us. We returned home from Florida one week ago after having visited Hippocrates Health Institute.  Dominic got a very serious infection somehow and we have been residents in either a Florida or California Hospital for the last 2 weeks.  He has been in extreme pain, been suffering with fevers and intestinal pain, and now is on a dry fast because there is a possibility his colon could rupture…which would be other than good.  Needless to say, Dominic is suffering.  And through all the suffering, he continues to keep a good attitude and keeps thinking of going home and having his life with family and friends.  I am in awe of his strength and perseverance.  He is a true superhero, whose power is inner strength and a positive outlook.

I have a few alternative therapies I’d like to try with him.  We have talked to Dr. Young in San Diego about his program of sodium bi-carb and alkalizing the body which sounds very promising.  And since Dominic is way too sick to leave the hospital or travel now, we are going to see a Dr. Rowen in Santa Rosa on Monday as a closer alternative who has also had great successes with cancer using IV therapies such as ozone and vitamin C. Dr. Rowen comes recommended to us by Dr. Lodi who runs An Oasis of Healing in Mesa, Arizona, whom I have been speaking with about Dominic.

You know, it’s funny, because no matter how many plans and schemes I have come up with, they seem to keep getting thwarted in some way or another.  The harder I fight and rebel against what is happening (i.e. medical treatment) the more sick Dominic seems to get and the more hopeless it seems to even have him well enough to leave the hospital to try these things.  I was so determined to get him out of here 2 days before Christmas and was so close to having him out the door, when his oncologist got really aggressive with me about the possibility of him dying over the weekend of septic shock before we could even see anyone alternative to help us.

In the end, although I am getting so many great ideas and advice from so many wonderful and caring people, they are not here to help me, and it’s just me and I choose to do what is going to make Dominic feel comfortable in the moment, not run out of here with a scheme while not having the tools or the help to pull it off alone.  It’s really, really scary!!!!  I truly would never wish these kinds of decisions on anyone.

So as I look deep into my heart and continue to send up prayers for guidance, the answer that I keep getting is “Everything is happening just as it should.  There is no one way and there is no right or wrong, black or white.  What you are doing in this moment is loving your boy with all of your heart and soul.  Your intentions are set and you know that you are being divinely guided.  So stop the struggle and just keep holding this vision of Dominic healing in your mind and in your heart and you will be lead, and all will be well.  All is well now.  In this moment, all is well, and now is all you have, so be here and love here and stop thinking you are doing it wrong and just let go of the struggle.  You are loved, Dominic is loved and all is well.”

So my friends, I wish you all peace in your hearts on this holy day.  I wish you love, and I wish for you to know that you are Blessed.  Just as I am blessed, and Dominic is blessed. None of us know what the future holds, or how long we are going to stay in these earthly bodies, so count your Blessings, and make the most of this life!!!!! Just make the most of this life!

Arc Angel Rafael

30 thoughts on “Living in the moment

  1. LIsaE the roofers wife

    God bless you guys!!! Elaina, you are so amazing in how you are moving through this…so right in just holding on to now and loving the best you can in this moment. Hang in there!


  2. I am praying for you and Dominic. I also have a 13 and 8 year old. Both are boys and I am deeply moved by your constant belief that everything is how it should be and you are so strong for your boy. The Lord moves in mysterious ways and I am praying for you on this glorious morning that there will be hope today and everyday after. Praying that you continue to stay strong and continue to pray for Dominic that the Lord comforts him and takes away which is ailing him, Jesus did miracles on earth and We can too. It is written. Believe that and know he is blessed and loved. May the Lord watch over you and Dominic today and the rest of your days in your earthly bodies.


  3. Tanisha Marshall

    Hi Elaina,

    I am praying for you and your son, as well as your family.

    Dominic sounds like he is fighting and believing in a positive outcome, which is great. I know he will need that in order to make it.

    I believe that it is when we give up that all hope is lost. But it sounds like you are both fighting and I believe you can win this battle.

    You are in my prayers.
    Tanisha M.


  4. Linnea

    Hi Elaina- Happy Holidays to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your struggle and spirit as you and Dominic share your journey. Thank you for the reminders that we must all appreciate our present as we may leave this form at any moment. I know you are frightened and angry at times but you too are a superhero, like Dominic, with amazing powers of grace and acceptance and a fiery mother’s fighting heart. I am thinking of you and sending love your way.


  5. Thank you so much for sharing this awesome passage with us and coming to that realization that everything is perfect in this moment – wow! Not easy to do when things in this moment are feeling very difficult! You are loving and staying by your boy and that is the most sacred thing you can do right now, being with him. I’ve been following your posts on Facebook etc. and been greatly moved by your story. And Dominic is so spiritually strong – I’m sure you realize this.


    • I was looking for Angel Rafael and I came across this web site. I pray to angel rafael for all who I love. I ask for healing of my daughter and her family. my concerns seems mimimal for what you have gone through with your son Dominic (God rest his soul)The courage that he show and endured was incredibal. Elena, you are incredible. you are a remarkable women. may God bless you always.
      peace and many blessings. Yolanda


  6. Elaina, I can’t even pretend to understand an ounce of what you’re going through. I have my own son, an only child, and I know I’d go to the ends of the earth, to the moon and back a billion times and take on all of his pain if I could.

    My heart aches because we all feel so helpless. If there is anything your community can do to help you, please don’t hesitate to ask. We want to help. And we love you so dearly.



  7. Mary Katherine Morrill

    Thank you so much for your posts. I know it can be difficult at times to find the time and mental/emotional strength to write them, but they mean so much to those of us who keep you and Dominic in our thoughts and prayers each day. I try and look up the doctors and therapies you are mentioning with each post. I am aware of many of them, but it is always affirming to see how many physicians are trying to work outside the standard medical model.

    This journey you are on is much like the marathon you ran this summer, and I am sure you are feeling as if you have hit the wall and cannot go on at times – but on you must go. There are so many people who would jump in and run a segment of this race for you if we could, but that is not possible. Do know, even when you feel alone, our spirits are beside you – lining the road you and Dominic are on all the way to that finish line.


  8. Joan Pulizzano

    Not a moment goes by when you and Dominic are not on our minds. There are candles burning in several churches for your both. Danielle and I cannot offer you or Dominic comfort but we can send our love and prayers. I would gladly bear pain for you both if I could.


  9. Hello Elaina- I stumbled on your story and want you to know I am praying for Dominic. I have a 13yr old boy, and I found out I have breast cancer and fear leaving my boy. BUT I pray a lot and enjoy every moment. You are so right when you say there is a divine plan. We all need to work as there is not God and then pray like we didn’t work at all. I pray to St. Peregrine for Dominic. I don’t know if you know about The Blessed Louis and Zélie Martin (they are the parents of St. Theresa). I pray to St. Theresa for myself and she helps me. You can pray to them as a couple for an intersession; they are 1 step/miracle away from becoming Saints. I believe Zelie Martin has a soft spot for boys as she her self lost a son she so desperately wanted and waited for.
    I feel a little silly sending all this but maybe I was meant to stumble across you and give you this message.
    God Bless you and Dominic.


  10. Michalene

    Sending lots of LOVE, prayers & Healing MOJO your way for Dom & you! Hang in there girl! Yes, I can’t tell you how many times perceived “setbacks” turned out to be needed stepping stones or indicators of changes needed. It’s all in interpretation & trusting the process & that your highest good is is being sought.


  11. Karen OBrien

    Dear Elaina – I have been suffering with an autoimmune condition and have had some success with the type of IV therapies you mention.

    Something that has really helped me (though I am still early on in trying it) is Naltrexone From my understanding it has worked well for some people with cancer. I am not a big believer in traditional medicine or drugs – but this has felt different to me because it works by boosting your own immune system.

    Regardless of what treatments you try, I wish you and your son vibrant health in 2010.

    Sincerely – Karen O’Brien


  12. Air travel is noted for bacteria, Brian Clement talks about the recycled air from the plane’s engine causing toxins. Many pilots and cabin crew retire with illness. Your son could have picked up this infection.
    There is no quick fix, the answers are at our finger tips. Sometimes staying in the one place ( Hippocrates) can be that answer. Healing starts when the mind is balanced, at the moment you seem to be all over the place. It is understandable, and easy for me to write. When an animal is ill it stays in a quiet place waiting for the immune system to build and fight disease.


    • I’ve just read the message from Living Light International and I’m gutted. It is my ego and I hate losing, perhaps it is not a lost but a gain. Thanks Elaina for sharing and letting us write on your blog. Let us all learn from this.


  13. roselene

    i do have a very good idea of what you are going through. my prayers are with you. you’re always welcome to contact me.

    many strangers are just friends we haven’t met

    you two are angels 🙂 all the love in the world to you


  14. Beatrice


    I’m deeply sorry for your great loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God bless you all and get you through this very difficult time.



  15. e. mars

    My friend Dave (raw trucker) told me of your loss today. I am so sorry for this. You are a wonderful mother and he was blessed to have you for the short time he was on earth.

    Wishing you deep healing and peace,


  16. Elania,
    Your spirit is true to the Lord, and I pray that Dominic is the same. That is vital! Now I would like to offer some information that I believe will help him. Take it as you will but if you at all have a belief in the spiritual then this is worth your time.

    Get the book REGIONS OF CAPTIVITY! and check out the links below!

    God Bless…


  17. shazz

    Dear Elaina,
    I just heard about your loss. Please accept my condolences and know that my prayers go out to you and your family. I am so, so sorry. May you be strengthened knowing that he feels no more pain and is in a better place. I pray that somehow you find peace and serenity in all this pain.
    May God bless you!!


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